How to make fear your friend

It has been said that we either run away from pain or we run towards pleasure. It’s called the “Pain, pleasure principal.” by Sigmund Freud.

Running toward pleasure is easier, though running away from pain is arguably a stronger motivator. Fear can, however, paralyze. And that hurts. We are afraid of pain. It brings worry and stress. Meanwhile, it inspires courage and drives action… change!

Many memes and acronyms claim or suggest that fear is not real. One popular one is: False Evidence Appearing Real. Ignore this.

Fear is very real and not to be blindly ignored. It is the primordial warning mechanism that all living beings and organisms instinctually and inherently possess. It keeps them alive because it lets them know that something is dangerous. Courage is not inclusive of recklessness. The question is, how do you make fear your friend as a "motivator"? It’s a conscious mindset choice. Read more about how to open your mind in my book, FLYING BEYOND THE NET.

Acknowledge your fears. This doesn’t make you weak. It makes you emotionally intelligent.

Fear is one of the most basic human emotions, and emotions are what compel us to do things. Fear can drive a mother to find superhuman strength to lift a car that is crushing her baby. Empower yourself by connecting with your emotions. Leverage them. They will help you achieve your goals.

We tend to avoid fear because it’s not a fun feeling; other than when riding a “scream your lungs out” adventure ride. Other than that, we kid ourselves with empty words such as be “fearless.” It’s not about being fearless. It’s about having courage to stare your fears in the face and moving forward anyway.

A life without pain sounds like utopia. It’s not. If we don’t feel the pain, then nothing happens. We are numb. Fear can provide a sense of urgency, too… we fear the negative consequences of not doing something. Goodbye procrastination. Learn more about how to overcome procrastination.

The key is to stay calm in moments of fear. Keep your wits about you. Maintain clarity of mind. Your blood pressure will increase, potentially speeding up your thoughts. A panicked mind may run or freeze, so… slow down your breathing temporarily. A calm and clear mind will evaluate and understand a situation and asses which plan of action is best suited… options… best case scenario. Now that you’ve got clarity, inhale courage, exhale fear. Increase the intensity of your breathing, filling your lungs and blood with extra oxygen and your system with endorphins. Get psyched about the thrill of you overcoming and reaching higher. Want it! Long for it. Crave it. Obsess about it… then let the dream go cause it’s already yours.

George Addair says,

“Everything you've ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.”

Fear fuels desire.

If you like Napoleon Hill, he talks about the power of desire in his book, Think and Grow Rich. In fact, he dedicates chapter 2 to the topic. He calls desire, the starting point of all achievements.

Next time you feel fear, know that it is a tool for promote growth. It is an opportunity. Run with it. You’ve got this!

Don’t forget the “courage” part. There’s always the Wizard of Oz if you lack in that department. Oh wait…. the Wizard of Oz lives inside you. The magic is in your hands. Inhale the courage. Exhale the fear. And now reach higher.

Vital Germaine

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Becoming a High-Value Person

Once upon a time I believed that high-value people were only those with status: influence, financial clout or a broad-reaching network. I was wrong.

If we reframe the meaning of a high-value person, we elevate a lot of people who are undermined in society. That may include you.

The above mentioned people are indeed high value… however, the title of high-value person is not limited to that demographic. Some of those wealthy, influential people (influencers) may be of high value in certain areas, but not across the board. Maybe they provide very little emotional value to those they love; think of the overworked executive who has very little time and energy for the kids. That person is of very little emotional value; and money is not everything.

You can become a high-value person in any field; a stay-home-mom or -dad with a net worth of zero, or with a social network of just your dog or cat/gold fish; and of course aunt Sally.

It’s about how you are helping, supporting and understanding people. It’s about emotional intelligence.

The last words of Steve Jobs, billionaire, dead at 56:

"I have reached the summit of success in the world of business." In the eyes of others, my life is a success.

However, aside from work, I had little joy. In the end, wealth is just a fact I am used to.

At this moment, laying on my hospital bed, remembering my whole life, I realize that all the gratitude and wealth in which I took so much pride, has vanished and became meaningless in the face of imminent death.

You can hire someone to drive your car or make money for you but it's impossible to hire someone to deal with sickness and die for you.

Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost - "Life".

Whatever stage of life we are currently in, with time, we will face it the day the curtain closes.

Love your family, spouse and friends... Treat them right . Cherish them.

As we get older, and wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $300 or $30 watch - both give the same hour...

Whether we have a $300 or $30 wallet or purse - the amount inside is the same;

Whether we drive a $150,000 car or $30,000 car, the road and distance are the same, and we arrive at the same destination.

That we drink a bottle of wine at 1000. $ or $10 hangover is the same;

That the house we live in is 300 or 3000 square feet - the loneliness is the same.

You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from material things of this world.

Whether you travel first class or economic class, if the plane crashes, you crash with it...

Therefore .. I hope you realize, when you have friends, boyfriends and old friends, brothers and sisters, with whom you argue, laugh, talk, sing, talk about north-south-east or heaven and earth,.... This is the real happiness!!

An indisputable fact of life:

Don't educate your kids to be rich. Educate them to be happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things and not the price.

Here are 9 ways to gauge your social worth.

1. The way you show up (be authentic, respectful and kind)

2. The way you communicate (sincere)

3. Your character (core values)

4. Be impeccable with your word

5. Your intentions (purpose)

6. Have more empathy with healthy boundaries

7. Show them you care

8. Giving back or paying it forward

9. Be a safe person (trustworthy / non-judgmental)

Society is emotionally struggling, in particular, the younger generations who need more emotional support than actual financial resources or celebrity.

As a parent, as a friend, lover, partner; be the best version of you for that person and you instantly become a high-value person. The best example I can think of, is a teacher. They rarely become financially wealthy… they are underpaid heroes! Yet, a good teacher brings infinite value to the next generation. I can think of one or two of my teachers who heavily influenced the course of my life, if not saved my life growing up as a kid lost in the British Child Care System. Their value was and is priceless.

Take a moment to self evaluate.

As a person, are you doing that little extra and being the best version of yourself with the wellbeing of others at heart? If yes, you are a high-value person. Congrats.

As a leader, are you inspiring and empowering your team? If you are, then you instantly become a high value leader. If you work at the register at Walmart, are your committed to providing great customer service to each and every person you ring up? If you do, then you are a high value person.

Have the mindset to want to reach higher each and every day, the mindset to do more for your village or community, the mindset to be more empathetic, to be more giving and caring etc. That is wealth right there.

If you are an influencer to the masses but provide little value to those who really need you: your kids, your significant other etc, then consider shifting the focus to those who really love you, not only those who admire you without knowing you. Ultimately, do that little extra and optimize who you are and become not only a high value person, but an extraordinary person. How to become your best self? Discover your IKIGAI

Former Miami Dolphins head coach, Jimmy Johnson, once said, “The difference between ordinary and extraordinary, is that little extra.”

The choice is yours.

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine

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