Is Narcissism On The Rise?

We’ve all experienced that toxic boss, the controlling family member, the manipulative girlfriend / boyfriend and the lying sibling. It appears to be happening more and more, but is it?

This is a complicated question as there are so many factors and variables to consider. The two most defining dueling factors are:

1: Is it being more exposed than before, making us more aware?

2. Are there simply more narcissists being born and created than ever before?

Narcissism is definitely not a new human character trait. It dates back at least to the birth of the term inspired by Greek Mythology. A young handsome mans falls in love with his own reflection. It also includes “self love” and disdain for others.

More modern usage stems from psychiatrists Paul Näcke and Havelock Ellis, who first used the term in 1889. For them it related to a person who used their own body like that of a sexual partner: objectification perhaps, which makes perfect sense. Narcissist objectify their prey as a form of toy they own.

Sigmund Freud further developed the concept in 1914 (Essay titled, “On Narcissism: An Introduction”, suggesting every child goes through a normal and healthy narcissistic phase as a part of its development. However, it became a disorder if continued during puberty and adulthood.

In 1913, Ernest Jones said, “People with extreme narcissism have a “God complex”. 

And while on the topic of God, The Bible claims that “narcissism can be viewed as the epitome of sin”. The Book of Proverbs refers to narcissism as foolish behavior. “The fool makes his own rules, scoffs at rebuke, and disregards the harm his actions may cause.” Sounds about right!

So, it’s definitely been around for a while.

Nonetheless, modern society unto itself has become more narcissistic, fueled in big part by social media (look at ME, like ME, follow ME). It is becoming common place because everybody is becoming more narcissistic. We find them in the workplace (toxic boss or controlling colleagues), in our circle of friends, family and lovers. They destroy self-esteem and relationships.

CAVEAT: Having narcissistic traits, doesn’t necessarily make you a narcissist, in the same way that having athletic abilities doesn’t make you an athlete. The term is being thrown out there for anybody who is remotely selfish, lied (even once) and for the gain of manipulators to insult others by using that term when they don’t get their way. And btw, If you haven't and aren’t experiencing and uptick in narcissistic behavior, well, guess what that could mean? LOL

There are certain demographics who struggle and are more impacted more heavily by this uptake in narcissitic traits and tendencies, THE EMPATH! (highly empathetic and/or sensitive person, some people with ADHD, too). This modern world of ME, ME, ME is exhausting and highly challenging for these neurodivergent types.

The empath is continually fighting an energetic battle with a world filled with endless beauty, yet so much ugliness. It appears that narcissism and energy vampires are on the rise… freely and openly coming out of the woodwork like a bad trend… or are they simply being more exposed, but they were always there… simply more identifiable through out awareness? Once you see, you can’t unsee.

Either way, if you are an empath, your energy is precious and must be protected. This means having difficult and courageous conversations to establish BOUNDARIES. Take my online communication course with an entire module dedicated to “COURAGEOUS CONVERSATIONS”

TAke the course

SO, NOW WHAT?

In the meantime, you must recharge regularly and consistently to sustain a level of wellness. Through introspection, silence and inviting calm into your life you become stronger and more resilient, but you shouldn’t always be fighting toxicity. You should be searching for peace, which can mean distance, separation and even isolation from people with narcissistic traits.

Rest, calm, peace… safety, is an empath must. You must invest and design your wellness lifestyles… it can be so simple.

Whether you are a neurodivergent or not, invest in YOU, TOO, not just everybody else. This is not selfish, and I don’t call it self love (go back to beginning of the blog and the term “self-love”). It is about self-respect and self-care, not self love.

Have a beautiful day, week, year in both your personal and professional life.

Vital Germaine

ORIGINS of THE EMPATH

Well, there are two platforms or theories to consider as to the birth of THE EMPATH.

1. The first empath theory is that it’s a trauma response by which an abused child develops hyper vigilance.

2. The second platform or theory has a much more fascinating back story with an element of woo woo or paranormal.

Which ever theory you subscribe to is perhaps irrelevant because the outcome is the same. There are common traits that empaths possess, which I’ll share in a bit. But let’s begin at the beginning of the empath story.

The term empath was originally coined by Scottish author J.T. McIntosh's 1956. J.T McIntosh wrote a sci-fi story called THE EMPATH, in which these humans possessed the super paranormal ability to sense and feel other people… almost to the point of mind reading and therefore understanding what they might do next or what their intentions were. It was considered emotional telepathy. The plot thickens when the government uses these empaths to oppress workers and therefore society through a form of mind control.

And it’s perhaps this origin of the term that incites the dislike of empaths as these pretentious paranormal super beings.

The opposing theory to hyper-vigilance which makes logical and psychological sense, is the woo woo, paranormal ability theory.

I think the truth is combination of both, with more emphasis on nature over nurture. In other words, they are born, not made. Nurture will only dim or magnify the empath.

The empath is basically an HSP or highly sensitive person with elevated levels of empathy, also known as emotional intelligence… which is not paranormal.

Another way to break down the empath in alignment with modern standard psychological practices and beliefs is to compare it with the Myers Briggs scale of personality measurement. The Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), is a pseudoscientific, self-report questionnaire that indicates differing "psychological types", you can easily google it and take the test on line. It’s a highly recognized and much used platform for hiring etc. The empath is often-times categorized as what’s called an INFJ.

INFJ stands for:

• Introverted

• Intuitive

• Feeling

• Judging traits (oh oh, judging traits)

INFJ’s and empaths tend to approach life with deep thoughtfulness and imagination. Their inner vision, personal values, and a quiet, principled version of humanism guide them in all things.

Sounds about right to me. What are your thoughts on the origins and the meaning of THE EMPATH?

The Empath and other Neurodivergent Social Stigmas

I consider the empath to belong within the group labelled, neurodivergent. Empaths are not neurotypical.

The general understanding of neurodivergent is predominantly associated with people who are on the autism spectrum. It also includes anybody whose brain functions differently.

This is what the Cleveland Clinic has to say about the neurodivergent.

PART 1: The term “neurodivergent” describes people whose brain differences affect how their brain works. That means they have different strengths and challenges from people whose brains don’t have those differences. The possible differences include medical disorders, learning disabilities and other conditions.

It’s a polite, politically correct term “they” give to those “they” view as mentally f%&*@d up.

PART 2: The possible strengths include better memory, being able to mentally picture three-dimensional (3D) objects easily, the ability to solve complex mathematical calculations in their head, and many more.

Society tends to only register Part 1… the disorders, challenges or “conditions”.

If we focus on Part 2, we realize that neurodivergence is a gift, a superpower that is above the norm.

Society likes to keep people in alignment with the lowest common denominator for the sake of control and/or assimilation into the set standards of an outdated education system designed to create conforming worker-bees. And btw, the Empath and HSP are forms of neurodivergence.

Let’s take Part 2 to a different level, starting with so-called ailments and disorders such as ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). Just because the average person lacks curiosity and intrigue and is almost numbed by mass hypnosis and made placid in thought, doesn’t mean that the highly curious have a disorder. Rather than medicate and numb brain, put them more challenging and creative environments, or teach them mediation. As far as I am concerned, lacking curiosity is a disorder. Ask Albert Einstein, who once said, “I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious”. Passionately curious!

Let’s take ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), in short, overly active with heightened spontaneity. Is that really a disorder, compared to being an emotionally numb drone of middle society? Encourage and inspire them to choose careers that require more energy and quick decision-making. This is a rudimentary suggestion that requires deeper thinking and exploration, but without that deeper exploration, prescriptions and shaming aren’t really solving the “problem”.

The list of diagnosed disorders as acronyms is endless. And btw, almost all of them are recent phenomenon or labels with a negative connotation. How are they treated? With pharmaceuticals that make them act like everybody else. Hmmm. How are they created? Arguably pharmaceuticals for financial gain by obligating people to be on life-time medication. Genius.

Perhaps we should embrace and elevate this exceptional people rather than condemn and banish them to an inferior status guilted into shame as if they have cerebral cooties.

So, let’s talk about the disorder of being highly sensitive (HSP). Again, this is not a disorder. It’s a gift, as superpower, as is autism and ADD etc. Think Rain Man (movie with Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise. Dustin Hoffman’s character has extraordinary mathematical abilities… “they” consider that a disorder… LMAO.

If you fall into the category of a neurodivergent, in any, and all of its numerous variations: Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder (DPDRD); Other Specified Dissociative Disorders (OSDD); Unspecified Dissociative Disorder (UDD) etc, etc… including the empath, the psychic, or Rain man/women), begin celebrating your unique gifts and end the shame. You are special. You are magical. You have a superpower. I honor you!

Sincerely,

Vital Germaine (The Sigma Empath)